For years I believed that my ex-husband's abuse and adultery were my fault; that his sins and choices were my responsibility. If only I had been a better wife, a better lover, a better person...
The voice of shame accused me of failure at every turn.
The day he left, he said, "No one will ever want a woman with four children!"
And the voice of shame agreed!
“He would have stayed if you were someone worth staying for,”
I was taunted by the voice of shame.
“It's all your fault that your oldest son became a drug addict. You are a terrible mother!”
I was accused, by the condemning voice of shame again.
I was tossed around by the stormy waves of life...
|Snapper Rocks, Gold Coast, QLD|
For a long time, I believed these lies! I felt unworthy, unwanted, unlovable, unacceptable and judged.
I felt the shame of my marriage failing, the shame of being a single mother, the shame of my life not going according to my dreams...
Through another situation in a Christian workplace, I allowed people to take advantage of me; because I still didn't know my value and worth in God, and as a person.
I worked very hard through prayer with my pastors, and through counselling with my psychologist to come to the realisation and acceptance that the accusations and feelings of shame were totally unfounded and untrue.
I am NOT responsible for the choices of others... I am only responsible for my own actions and choices.
I know I am not perfect, however I also know that I made the right choice to raise my children on my own. Our home was a safe haven; a place of love, acceptance, laughter, peace, joy and wonderful memories. My children were happier and more settled.
The voice of shame seeks to belittle and destroy us.
However, the voice of Truth seeks to build us up and speak life into us!
I recently read an article on this very topic. These words really spoke to me:
|Sunset looking across the Blackall Ranges from Kondalilla National Park, QLD|
"God whispers to the hearts of His beloved: Don’t pay attention to those feelings of shame — they don’t belong to you. Shame is nothing more than the scheme of darkness.
The author of Revelation refers to Satan as 'the accuser' for good reason. One of his nastiest tricks is to blame the inflicted for sin committed against them. He pummels our minds and hearts with twisted condemnations wanting to shift our focus away from our hope in Christ."
The voice of Truth gives us peace, hope, comfort, purpose and so much more. It seeks to encourage and not condemn.
|Sunset on the Hastings River, Port Macquarie, NSW|
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