Friday, May 20, 2016

Which Voice Are You Listening To??

For years I believed that my ex-husband's abuse and adultery were my fault; that his sins and choices were my responsibility. If only I had been a better wife, a better lover, a better person...
The voice of shame accused me of failure at every turn.

The day he left, he said, "No one will ever want a woman with four children!" 

And the voice of shame agreed!

“He would have stayed if you were someone worth staying for,”  I was taunted by the voice of shame.

It's all your fault that your oldest son became a drug addict. You are a terrible mother! I was accused, by the condemning voice of shame again.

I was tossed around by the stormy waves of life...
Snapper Rocks, Gold Coast, QLD
For a long time, I believed these lies! I felt unworthy, unwanted, unlovable, unacceptable and judged.

I felt the shame of my marriage failing, the shame of being a single mother, the shame of my life not going according to my dreams...

Through another situation in a Christian workplace, I allowed people to take advantage of me; because I still didn't know my value and worth in God, and as a person.

I worked very hard through prayer with my pastors, and through counselling with my psychologist to come to the realisation and acceptance that the accusations and feelings of shame were totally unfounded and untrue.
I am NOT responsible for the choices of others... I am only responsible for my own actions and   choices.

I know I am not perfect, however I also know that I made the right choice to raise my children on my own. Our home was a safe haven; a place of love, acceptance, laughter, peace, joy and wonderful memories. My children were happier and more settled.

The voice of shame seeks to belittle and destroy us.

However, the voice of Truth seeks to build us up and speak life into us!

Sunset looking across the Blackall Ranges from Kondalilla National Park, QLD
I recently read an article on this very topic. These words really spoke to me:

"God whispers to the hearts of His beloved: Don’t pay attention to those feelings of shame — they don’t belong to you. Shame is nothing more than the scheme of darkness.

The author of Revelation refers to Satan as 'the accuser' for good reason. One of his nastiest tricks is to blame the inflicted for sin committed against them. He pummels our minds and hearts with twisted condemnations wanting to shift our focus away from our hope in Christ."

Sunset on the Hastings River, Port Macquarie, NSW

The voice of Truth gives us peace, hope, comfort, purpose and so much more. It seeks to encourage and not condemn.

Linking up with these memes:



Graham Edwards said...

This is a very difficult topic and there is no excuse whatsoever for any person to abuse another in any relationship. I'm so pleased that you have now found a partner who values you for who you really are and that you also realise your worth and who you are and that your life is so much better than it was.

My experience of "Christian" values as practised do not endear me to the concept. The fact that your beliefs have brought you through the troubles is, however, a Good Thing.

Whatever your beliefs and the reasons for you coming to realise the truth of your situation I wish you happiness in your life.

Bob Bushell said...

I loved that, the scenery is fabulous, great photos Liz.

Karen @ Pieces of Contentment said...

So true and some powerful revelations here Liz. They remind me of Romans 8 - therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. The battles of the mind and spirit are ongoing, so pleased you have these new revelations. Beautiful photos as always too.

Pauline said...

We've walked similar paths, Liz. Whichever path we take to bring us out the other side is unimportant. I do wish I could describe and illustrate my past as beautifully as you have done. It's only the future that's important now! May yours be blessed!

Unknown said...

What a beautiful post this is, Liz.
You are truly an inspiration, my friend. xo.

Pat Tillett said...

Gorgeous photos Liz!
I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that, and happy that you have found your way to happiness and inner peace.

Spare Parts and Pics said...

A beautiful post... from the heart. And, as always, I really enjoy your great photos!

Nanda kumar said...

Great shots again!

Lady Fi said...

Wow - stunning shots.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

Your introspection here is quite amazing...thank for for sharing. And you chose the perfect set of photos to accompany the words...

Stewart M said...

We all take different journeys to understand our own self-worth, and that many things are not our fault.

The journey is not always easy - but in the end honesty is one aspect that all such journeys share.

Stewart M - Melbourne

Michael S-B said...

Very well written, Liz. You are definitely a valued and worthwhile person. I like the way you wrote this - it is well-worded, and the photos you selected are perfect. xoxoxo

Nathalie H.D. said...

Thanks Liz for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us. It seems so unfair to me that anyone would be made to feel the way you feel. I'm glad you found people on your way who helped you embrace life with a sense of self worth and self realisation. You are a beautiful person Liz, it's so obvious from your photos and writings !

(On the topic of religion I'm with Graham above)

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