Happiness & Gratitude is a Choice

I was talking with a dear friend recently about unrealised dreams and how we respond to the storms in our lives.

For me, these unrealised dreams came in the form of a broken marriage. Since I was a little girl, I had dreamed of a long & happy marriage to a man who loved me unconditionally, “until death do us part”. However, after 14 years of marriage, during which I lost 2 babies to miscarriage, I also lost the father of my 4 (+2) children to adultery & abuse.

It would have been natural, to allow negativity to overtake my thoughts and steal my joy. However, I chose rise above my circumstances; to stand and praise Him anyway through these times of trauma & loss, and to be thankful for what I have rather than what I have lost.

My friend had a very similar story to me. We were discussing how we could have responded very differently than the way we did, and the affect that would have had on our own lives and the lives of our children.

It took time to heal my wounded heart... before I found peace, contentment, forgiveness and happiness in my "new" life as a single Mum to my four young children. God carried me through, just like in the well-known poem “Footprints”.

However, it would take 12 years of single parenting until I finally met the man I had dreamed of as a child (and surprisingly, he was a man I had known since I was 6 months old)!

The biggest lesson I have learned through all my life experiences is... Gratitude in all things!
It's a choice to be grateful. It's a choice to extend forgiveness to those who hurt you. It's a choice to find joy in even the toughest situations!

Just last week, I lost that dear friend... she died from complications after giving birth to her 7th child... she leaves behind 6 young children. To say I am sad is an understatement. I will miss her terribly.

Her loss is a reminder of how unpredictable life can be. We never know when our time is up; there is often no warning, no time to prepare. I believe it is important to never leave things unresolved. My aim is to make sure that the last thing I have said to my loved ones is "I love you".

**This post is dedicated to my dear friend Vicki Leanne Butler. Until we meet again, Vicki!**


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FAMILY: Blessings and Gratitude

I rarely get the opportunity to get out to photograph sunset, or much else these days. If I do, it's a quick backyard sunset (as above) while I'm preparing dinner. I do hope to get back into more photography eventually, but right now, I am loving spending more time with family; particularly the 4 of our  9 young adult children who still live at home and love going on weekly coffee dates, shopping dates, or day trips to the mountains or the beach.
 **Apparently we are still cool enough to hang out with!! :) **

Family life has changed so much since August 2016!

My oldest son is back in our lives, (I hope & pray, this time for good), as his marriage has broken down irretrievably. He is currently living with us while he tries to get back on his feet. As all loving parents would, we have been here to support, guide and love him through the process of rebuilding his life and fighting for his 4 young children and the ability to see them. The legal process doesn't come easy when you (and your family) don't have the finances to pay for Family Lawyers but you don't qualify for Legal Aid. It's been a very hard road for him.

We have been having our 4 grandchildren (7, 5, 3 & 21 months) for the day on most Sundays, which has been a wonderful answer to prayer. We are loving getting to know our grandchildren; spending time with them each week, watching them grow and develop, and observing their unique little personalities. They are such precious little people and I have so much love for them!

We also have our 5th grandchild on the way, which is very exciting!

We've had some difficulties to deal with this year, but we've had so many more blessings. I choose to be grateful in it all, the good & the bad.

“Be present in all things and thankful for all things.” - Maya Angelou



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BEACH THERAPY

It's no secret that the beach is my favourite place. Whether I'm walking along the shore (camera in hand), swimming in the ocean or sitting listening to the waves crashing on the rocks; it is therapy for the body, mind and spirit. 

"Our memories of the ocean will linger on, long after our footprints in the sand are gone." - Unknown

"The ocean stirs the heart, inspires the imagination and brings eternal joy to the soul." - Robert Wyland

"The ocean is a mighty harmonist." - William Wordsworth

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Which Voice Are You Listening To??

For years I believed that my ex-husband's abuse and adultery were my fault; that his sins and choices were my responsibility. If only I had been a better wife, a better lover, a better person...
The voice of shame accused me of failure at every turn.

The day he left, he said, "No one will ever want a woman with four children!" 

And the voice of shame agreed!

“He would have stayed if you were someone worth staying for,”  I was taunted by the voice of shame.

“It's all your fault that your oldest son became a drug addict. You are a terrible mother!” I was accused, by the condemning voice of shame again.

I was tossed around by the stormy waves of life...

Snapper Rocks, Gold Coast, QLD

For a long time, I believed these lies! I felt unworthy, unwanted, unlovable, unacceptable and judged.

I felt the shame of my marriage failing, the shame of being a single mother, the shame of my life not going according to my dreams...

Through another situation in a Christian workplace, I allowed people to take advantage of me; because I still didn't know my value and worth in God, and as a person.

I worked very hard through prayer with my pastors, and through counselling with my psychologist to come to the realisation and acceptance that the accusations and feelings of shame were totally unfounded and untrue.
I am NOT responsible for the choices of others... I am only responsible for my own actions and   choices.

I know I am not perfect, however I also know that I made the right choice to raise my children on my own. Our home was a safe haven; a place of love, acceptance, laughter, peace, joy and wonderful memories. My children were happier and more settled.

The voice of shame seeks to belittle and destroy us.

However, the voice of Truth seeks to build us up and speak life into us!

Sunset looking across the Blackall Ranges from Kondalilla National Park, QLD

I recently read an article on this very topic. These words really spoke to me:

"God whispers to the hearts of His beloved: Don’t pay attention to those feelings of shame — they don’t belong to you. Shame is nothing more than the scheme of darkness.

The author of Revelation refers to Satan as 'the accuser' for good reason. One of his nastiest tricks is to blame the inflicted for sin committed against them. He pummels our minds and hearts with twisted condemnations wanting to shift our focus away from our hope in Christ."

Sunset on the Hastings River, Port Macquarie, NSW

The voice of Truth gives us peace, hope, comfort, purpose and so much more. It seeks to encourage and not condemn.


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Bless Them Anyway

A very wise friend of mine recently encouraged me to respond to a very negative situation in a different way. After sharing with her a very angry message I received by text, her advice was;

"Allow their words to fall to the ground as dead seeds that cannot take root." 

I was encouraged to look beyond the behaviour and words, to the pain these people are feeling (I was aware of their pain, but it had nothing to do with me).
As the saying goes, "Hurting people hurt people."     Isn't that the truth!

It's incredible how much my friend's words touched my heart. I was understandably deeply hurt by their message, however I chose to respond in love; I chose not to react to their anger, as it wasn't about me. Instead I chose to pray blessing on them. I chose to pray that God would soften their hearts and break down their walls of hurt. I still choose to pray blessing on them, because they need to be blessed.

 

  

"But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who falsely accuse you and persecute you," ~ Matthew 5:44  

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Autumn Hues

We are almost through the first month of Autumn in Australia. South-east QLD has a mild, sub-tropical climate, so we don't see a mass of Autumn colour like there is in the cooler temperatures.

There isn't a huge definition in our seasons, and some times I really miss the beauty of those distinct seasonal changes.

Just as the seasons of nature constantly change, life also transitions naturally from one season to the next. Some seasons are more difficult than others, but as we journey through life it is important to remind ourselves that the different seasons we experience are just as temporary as they are in nature.

The seasons in life serve to build character, help us grow, make us stronger, teach us about life and prepare us for the future. It is also important to find peace and gratitude, even through the difficult seasons...

“Happiness is a state of mind, a choice, a way of living; it is not something to be achieved, it is something to be experienced.” ― Steve Maraboli

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